The point of no return (Relax, don't do it, when you wanna come)
In the previous section, we've explored the "why" - Why you ejaculate, why it doesn't serve you to ejaculate, and why it will serve you to ejaculate less.
If you haven't already, make sure you write down in your journal and share in the comments for that page, what are your 3 top reasons to do this practice.
Now, it's time to get to the What and the How.
This section covers #2 and #3 from the 5-step ejaculation control model:
The point-of-no-return (PNR) is the exact point at which arousal turns into ejaculation orgasm. This creates a cascade of physiological responses, a bit like an avalanche in the landscape. It triggers a series of contractions in your pelvic floor and expelling of semen. There is also a strong release of neuro-transmitters in the brain and hormones in your body that cause the momentary sensations of pleasure, euphoria and joy. The other side of these natural chemicals is that they also cause mood swings and emotional effects that can last up to two weeks before they stabilize.
It is crossing the PNR that leads to experiencing an orgasm as a short and sharp peak. As we discussed earlier, this is how most people define and experience orgasm. But you can experience orgasm in other, more powerful ways if you choose. And if you can identify your PNR, you can work with it.
Signs that you are close to the PNR
The best way to become attuned to your PNR is to begin playing with it during your self-pleasuring practice before moving on to partner exploration.
When you are pleasuring yourself notice if you experience any of the following sensations and signs:
[ Find a list of these signs, and much more, here ]
That moment when you feel the need to ‘come,’ to rush or to tense up is the moment just before the PNR. Once you cross that point, you will ejaculate!
So, if crossing the edge of the orgasmic cliff creates the cascade and avalanche, what do you do instead?
You don’t cross the edge.
This pause allows the sexual energy to move.
This is truly an under-estimated technique. Pausing allows you to last longer, connect with your self and your partner, become aware of sensations in your body and gradually become multi-orgasmic.
Check out the section "I like to Move it, Move it! (The "How")" to know how to move your energy more rapidly once you pause.